Do you remember those old cartoons and TV shows that used to have a devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other? The devil was trying to get you to do bad things and the angel was trying to tell you that you’re better than that. Most of us have a dialogue going on inside of our heads which can mirror this arrangement. On one side is all the negative things you say to yourself and the other is trying to convince you that you’re not all that bad, you are worthy of love and more. Unfortunately for many people one voice is loud and clear and manages to drown out the other… and that’s the negative voice!
Now, let me be clear here! I am not trying to convince you that if you hear your voice in your mind telling you something that something is mentally wrong with you! Generally this voice is your voice… and represents a part of you… or should I say parts of you. You are just a sum of your total experiences, both good and bad and so every negative comment, experience and look has gone into creating that negative voice in your head.. which psychotherapist and author Rick Carson calls…
Your Inner Gremlin!
I listened to a podcast of his once and when I heard him explain what he call’s the inner gremlin, I got it… it became so clear and I was able to really start identifying when my own popped up! And oh my god! The power of doing that! By recognising, I could observe it, observe what I was saying to myself and also recognise when it triggered off a negative reaction in side of me. Imagine how much your life would change if you could silence that negative voice!
Well it can be profound! Not to mention the ripple effect it has on those around you… your kids… your partner… your work collegues… when you don’t respond from that negative place, the hurt, anger, rejection, judgement and more is observed but not reacted upon. It gives you the space to react from your own power and strength. It gives you options to deal with the situation faced.
Now, lets take that one step further… imagine your children watching you do this and learning from you how to do this (modelling is the best teacher hands down… every time!). Perhaps there would be less violence in the world, no war, less competition… less fear?
So how do you tame it? Well clearly the first step is to recognise it!
Witness your negative voice/self talk
- Is bringing up negative emotions
- Saying negative things
- Judging you or others
- Blaming you or others
- Looking for drama
- Sapping your energy
- Blowing things out of proportion
- Creating confusion
- Spiralling you into anxiety of depression
- Fantasizing about the worst possible outcomes
- Making you feel helpless, hopeless and a victim
Deal with your Inner Gremlin
- Observe but don’t react
- Rationalise if possible
- Recognise that the other person has not deliberately set out to hurt you/make you angry
- Watch your normal patterns of reaction and notice the path of destruction it leaves
- Tap! Yes tap! Emotional Freedom Technique… learn it! It will get you out of your patterns quicker than any rational talking, talk therapy or deep psychoanalysis and it’s much cheaper!
There’s many ways to learn EFT or any similar tapping therapy, you can even learn it off YouTube, but the best way is to learn it from someone more experienced and willing to share. I have been tapping for 6 years and I still have regular swap sessions with other practitioners and people who aren’t into helping change the world! Working with someone else helps you get beyond your blind spots because they are able to see them and reflect them back to you. So there’s no excuse!