The many parents who have already learnt the Peaceful Parenting approach and Parent Effectiveness Skills report back the huge difference that this has made in their family lives. When the skills are applied with the right mindset, the changes happen rapidly and easily. The challenge is overcoming the pre-programming that we have received in our childhood which set us up to feel hurt, abandoned, rejected and angry by our children and partner’s behaviour. We address these in the Peaceful Parenting program and in our workshops and retreats. However, some parents need a bit of extra help to overcome specific challenges in their family.
These are actual experiences of clients who have learnt the PET skills and EFT and applied it in their lives and have received direct help from us to resolve issues they felt outside of their ability to change. Names and any places have been removed to protect the parents and children’s privacy.
A family of four came for help as they were constantly fighting with each other and recognised that each of them needed help to overcome their barriers. Father and daughters fought continually and the mother had to intervene and play mediator when she could (using her PET skills). We worked on the energy dynamic of the family and cleared the hurt from the dad as he had been abandoned as a child and left with family and was experiencing this rejection triggered everytime he fought with his children. As much as he knew how to react logically, his repressed pain was preventing him from being a capable dad. By healing his abandonment using EFT he was able to communicate love and affection for his children despite their behaviour.
Burning up inside
A widow and mum of a 16 year daughter needed help getting their relationship back on track. Despite having good parenting skills mum was not able to help her daughter with her grief over losing her father at the age of 12 from a sudden accident. The daughter also suffered from a severe skin condition that seemed to get worse when she got overly stressed. Mum and daughter were switching between getting along well to fighting and the daughter threatening to leave and move in with her boyfriend. Mum felt helpless when it came to helping her daughter over come the loss of her father. By clearing the grief from the daughter, the mood changed between the two and they were able to get along and the house calmed down. The daughter was able to calmly tell the story of her fathers passing where before she could not even mention it. Mum no longer felt helpless and the daughter’s skin condition subsided.
Dealing with Drugs
Divorced mother of two had her hands full trying to blend two families together (with her new partner and his daughter). Her 14 year daughter dropped out of school and started hanging with the “cool” older children in the poplular cafe area in the city and started behaving agressively towards everyone in the family household. It was soon discovered that drugs where also part of her new group and the daughter chose to use her birthday money to pay for drugs for a party she was attending. Through teaching mum the parenting skills of listening and negotiating, mum was able to firstly repair the relationship and eventually get the daughter away from the older teenagers and back into a school that suited the daughters creative learning style. By working with mum only, we were also able to clear mum’s fear of rejection and allow her to be able to clearly tell her new partner and children of what her needs were and negotiate a new relationship of respect with the whole blended family.
Single mother of three found it difficult to cope with the constant fighting between her three children. The worst of it occured between her 16 year old daughter and 14 year old son and she was begining to see the same behaviour occur in her 6 year old son. Mum was a skilled parent but still could not seem to help her children get a long. Mum suspected that this had to do with her estranged relationship with their father who still resented her for leaving the relationship. We examined the dynamic using the Family Constellation Therapy and could establish what was happening between the children. By changing the family constellation and establishing a healthier dynamic between the members as well as clearing mum’s anger at her ex-husband, mum felt much more calmer and confident. The next meeting she reported that her children had calmed down and stoped fighting and had even sat in the family constellation positions that we had changed them into.
If any of these situations sound familiar and you want help… book in for a private session to begin your journey to peaceful parenting…